Thanksgiving

 Thanksgiving is always complicated. You see the family you love a lot and you see the family you love very little. This Thanksgiving was very different for me. During the break, I realized that this had been a much harder semester for me than I realized. I have found new limits within myself, but also still hold a grudge against myself for pushing too hard too fast. I felt like this year I was sitting at the able to with a new pair of eyes and I saw it all very different than I had in years past. Some things that used to bother me did not have an impact on me. I was not bothered by the louder-than-needed football game. I was not annoyed by the family members that I had a bad relationship with. I was able to focus on the more simple things. I felt that this year I was able to slow down and truly enjoy the food. In years past I have always been in a rush to eat way too much food as I had no self-control. This year I felt that I truly enjoyed each bite. Another aspect that was different was that I did not let the family that I did not like stop me from enjoying time with the family that I do like. I was able to truly enjoy time with my grandmother. There has been a lot of family drama happening on my father's side of the family. This has led to a lot of undue stress over the past few years, but as I feel that I have more self-control over my life the drama affects me less and less. I felt that I was able to spend time with my uncle and my dad without a care in the world. As I have gone on this journey this semester I have found that I find the most meaning in the simple moments. I realize that each chance to spend time with my grandmother is incredibly valuable. While she is in good health she is also 86. I feel that each time we speak I gain so much from her insights and she helps me see the bigger picture. I find so much joy in taking in all she has to offer along with learning so many helpful cooking tips. Over the course of this semester, I have been reminded that simple things bring joy. I felt more content cooking with my grandmother this past weekend than I have in a long time.

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